No Purchase

Perpetually exhausted in some way
Get physical rest, become mentally fatigued
Exuberance unwasted, untold
Misery sworn and alchemized
Sore feet self-surgerized
Grocery remedies implemented

Giving my hurts patience
Double dutch trauma mitigation
Not letting circumstance dictate perspective
Idiosyncrasies of circumstance accepted
Illness or not, pain is real
Like it or not, it’s inflicted

What you say is absorbed and repeated
What you said was dark and harmful
Two hours ago, ten years ago,
I’ve heard it all
The mistakes I made
Do not account for this

Accepted—for hope
To not find the conflict
With its messenger
Or myna bird
Hoping the clarity arrives finally
That the truth starts doing its work

Knowing my lot is patience
Or else adjudication
Or else silence, absence
Accepting the pain
That it finds no purchase
Where it does not belong